Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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