theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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