You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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