TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
