Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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