what day is it and did you see me today?
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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