i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
