Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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