I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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