I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
i think my mom watched the whole time
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
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