My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
