ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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