Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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