Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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