Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
