Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
we made out on top of his cat.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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