"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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