Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize