Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
