I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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