she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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