you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.