Texts From Last Night

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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.

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  (780): Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing. http://tfl.nu/pkwf
  Replies (37) Good night (943) Bad night (3244)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?

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  (302): do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships? http://tfl.nu/h1g6
  Replies (149) Good night (1685) Bad night (5918)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love

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  (609): He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love http://tfl.nu/lok4
  Replies (47) Good night (3376) Bad night (7442)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.

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  (305): look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no. http://tfl.nu/new9
  Replies (23) Good night (1469) Bad night (3829)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Sucks about the cops last night

  (848): View more from New Jersey

  to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..

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  (609): Sucks about the cops last night (848): to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party.. http://tfl.nu/rv14
  Replies (7) Good night (4597) Bad night (987)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text

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  (503): i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text http://tfl.nu/7lw4
  Replies (5) Good night (4779) Bad night (832)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?

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  (908): do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants? http://tfl.nu/rdvq
  Replies (9) Good night (2752) Bad night (1001)
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  (626): View more from California

  I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.

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  (626): I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night. http://tfl.nu/5hoo
  Replies (7) Good night (2273) Bad night (634)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.

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  (734): If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend. http://tfl.nu/pm1j
  Replies (13) Good night (3072) Bad night (620)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.

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  (701): Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man. http://tfl.nu/tr3t
  Replies (7) Good night (3030) Bad night (412)
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  (212): View more from New York

  Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.

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  (212): Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals. http://tfl.nu/0i6j
  Replies (2) Good night (1795) Bad night (425)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married

  (1-843): View more from South Carolina

  That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard

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  (843): And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married (1-843): That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard http://tfl.nu/54cc
  Replies (4) Good night (694) Bad night (278)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus

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  (412): Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus http://tfl.nu/j3t9
  Replies (3) Good night (487) Bad night (192)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.

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  (724): I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick. http://tfl.nu/1sdq
  Replies (9) Good night (752) Bad night (181)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.

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  (775): And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward. http://tfl.nu/jda5
  Replies (1) Good night (145) Bad night (311)

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