you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
