i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
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