your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.