do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
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The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
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i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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