Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
