you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
