i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
