I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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