And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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