That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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