I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
