I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
