Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Randomize
