Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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