I wish I could punch you in the face.
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Randomize
