There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Randomize
