I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
