the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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