I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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