Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
