He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
