she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
