Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
