I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize