i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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