38 yer olds are good kisserssss
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
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