I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
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