operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Randomize