How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize