Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
