Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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