big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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