She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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