Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
He went soft
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned