he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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