I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Your shirt... Was in my pants