Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
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