I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
