but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
