I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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