Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
