Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
