You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
