Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
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If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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