Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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